Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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