yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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