I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
