Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
