i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
