party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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