i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
