what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
