oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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