Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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