I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
