even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
