Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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