dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
