I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
