why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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