I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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