i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
