A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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