Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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