I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
When are your genitals available?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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