I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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