Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
