i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
