I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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