Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
