he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
