Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
