they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
