No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
