it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
