Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
