I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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