wakey wakey hands off snakey
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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