in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
