you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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