So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
