Having a random hookup so left but love u
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you traded sex for a burrito?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I am one with the molecules
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
