after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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