Define "chronic" masturbator.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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