I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
