he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
