let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
