At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
