im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize