do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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