There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
