6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
