so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
