worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize