i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
