I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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