So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
