You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
