And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
