I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
