I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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