If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
