Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We just shotgunned beers for America
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize