This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
