She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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