She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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