I think my vagina is haunted
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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