its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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