Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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