Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
