Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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