that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize