Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
