Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Four minutes until I can fart!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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