I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
