If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
