Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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