Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
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