Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
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