Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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