using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
false alarm. still invincible.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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