i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
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