It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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