Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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