Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
