Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Acid is not a monday night drug
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
