just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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